Baby Bump Dysmorphia

Okay, so I've always absolutely loved the way pregnant women look and thought that I would relish the day when I also had a baby bump and a cute pregnant waddle. Apparently, I love the way other pregnant women look but am a little pickier when it comes to my own protruding midsection. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times when I stare smiling in wonder at my belly in the mirror and am amazed at the biologic miracle that is going on inside of me. There are however other times when I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface and feel a little sad at the sight of the unrecognizable nature of the only body part I've never been even slightly critical of….my stomach. I wonder “will it ever return?” In the grand scheme of things I know this is a very small and insignificant price to pay for the blessing of being able to become pregnant and give birth to my soon to be daughter, but I've always been the curious type and the question remains.

It all started on a trip to the gym. Moncho and I rode our bikes to the nearby 24 hour fitness and after a short stint on the elliptical I decided to use some of the stationary weight machines for some light toning. As I sat down on the thigh abductor machine (if only they could really be “abducted”- like in the alien sense- that machine would be much more efficient) and experienced my first episode of what I like to call Baby-Bump Dysmorphia. 

Body Dysmorphia (which I do not have) is actually a real clinical disorder where one constantly thinks about a real or imagined flaw with their appearance. I consider Baby-Bump Dysmorphia…totally made up by the way…an extremely benign and fleeting version of the real disorder. If Body Dysmorphia was a tiger, than Baby-Bump Dysmorphia would be a one day old kitten who can’t yet see and doesn’t have any teeth. Anyway, I saw my lumpy reflection in the mirror while at the gym and actually shocked myself at how much I did not love my baby bump in that moment. That was Baby- Bump Dysmorphia episode number 1. Episode number 2 came a few days later when I was attempting to put on some jeans and I couldn’t find my belly band. (Belly band = essential for any pregnant woman who does not want to walk around with her pants noticeably unzipped all day). Anyone watching would probably classify episode number 2 as a mini-meltdown. You know you are pregnant when you cry because you can’t find your belly band! Perhaps wardrobe-related meltdowns are a symptom of Baby-Bump Dysmorphia but I’m telling you it’s never good when you lose the only thing that allows you to not look like a total disaster in your clothes during that awkward stage before maternity clothes become a real option in your mind.

In the past few days or so as my belly is getting bigger I will say that I am actually coming to like it more and more. However, I think that trend might have a cap on it…bigger is only better up to a certain point unless you are Jessica Simpson. She seems to be enjoying her baby bump quite a lot! One reason why my growing bump is becoming more enjoyable may have something to do with the fact that I have graduated up from the belly band and officially am an owner of maternity jeans thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law. I never thought I would own, let alone, LOVE a pair of maternity jeans this much, but if ever there were to be an official cure for Baby-Bump Dysmorphia (other than giving birth) I’m sure it would include 1) waiting until your bump is big enough that you actually look pregnant and not just oddly shaped and 2) investing in a good pair of maternity jeans. It’s only fitting that my very smart and kind mother-in-law would know the cure to Baby-Bump Dysmorphia!