Message to my hormones and other pesky players this week

Dear Prolactin¹,

     Can you please stick to your job of making my boobs grow and leave my tear ducts alone?

Sincerely,

                Tired of awkward crying for no reason

                     ¹ Prolactin is a hormone that increases during pregnancy and increases to its peak levels post-partum when it                          stimulates lactation. Prolactin facilitates crying because higher levels lower the threshold for tearing (Frey,1985)

Dear Dissertation Committee,

     Would you consider actually reading the proposal I spent months putting together before you start haphazardly making changes. I know you are experts in your field but you are starting to sound like crazy people and my hormones and “crazy” have not been getting along lately.

Sincerely,

                Pregnant PhD student who would rather stick a pencil in 

                her eye than make another change to her research

Dear Neighbor Kids,

     Please get out of the street when I’m driving past your house to get home. I don’t want to hit you with my car…not even when you point your water guns and Nerf shooters at me. It’s just that my bladder is full and there is a baby sitting on it and I have to pee so just get out of my way. Also, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, butt-head is not a nice thing to yell at random strangers.

Sincerely,

                Pregnant girl who lives down the street and looks forward to the day

                when she can teach her daughter not to call people “butt-head”

Dear Insomnia,

     Thank you for your frequent visits this week. This blog post would not have been possible without you.

Sincerely,

                Awake