Baby Bump Dysmorphia

Okay, so I've always absolutely loved the way pregnant women look and thought that I would relish the day when I also had a baby bump and a cute pregnant waddle. Apparently, I love the way other pregnant women look but am a little pickier when it comes to my own protruding midsection. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times when I stare smiling in wonder at my belly in the mirror and am amazed at the biologic miracle that is going on inside of me. There are however other times when I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflective surface and feel a little sad at the sight of the unrecognizable nature of the only body part I've never been even slightly critical of….my stomach. I wonder “will it ever return?” In the grand scheme of things I know this is a very small and insignificant price to pay for the blessing of being able to become pregnant and give birth to my soon to be daughter, but I've always been the curious type and the question remains.

It all started on a trip to the gym. Moncho and I rode our bikes to the nearby 24 hour fitness and after a short stint on the elliptical I decided to use some of the stationary weight machines for some light toning. As I sat down on the thigh abductor machine (if only they could really be “abducted”- like in the alien sense- that machine would be much more efficient) and experienced my first episode of what I like to call Baby-Bump Dysmorphia. 

Body Dysmorphia (which I do not have) is actually a real clinical disorder where one constantly thinks about a real or imagined flaw with their appearance. I consider Baby-Bump Dysmorphia…totally made up by the way…an extremely benign and fleeting version of the real disorder. If Body Dysmorphia was a tiger, than Baby-Bump Dysmorphia would be a one day old kitten who can’t yet see and doesn’t have any teeth. Anyway, I saw my lumpy reflection in the mirror while at the gym and actually shocked myself at how much I did not love my baby bump in that moment. That was Baby- Bump Dysmorphia episode number 1. Episode number 2 came a few days later when I was attempting to put on some jeans and I couldn’t find my belly band. (Belly band = essential for any pregnant woman who does not want to walk around with her pants noticeably unzipped all day). Anyone watching would probably classify episode number 2 as a mini-meltdown. You know you are pregnant when you cry because you can’t find your belly band! Perhaps wardrobe-related meltdowns are a symptom of Baby-Bump Dysmorphia but I’m telling you it’s never good when you lose the only thing that allows you to not look like a total disaster in your clothes during that awkward stage before maternity clothes become a real option in your mind.

In the past few days or so as my belly is getting bigger I will say that I am actually coming to like it more and more. However, I think that trend might have a cap on it…bigger is only better up to a certain point unless you are Jessica Simpson. She seems to be enjoying her baby bump quite a lot! One reason why my growing bump is becoming more enjoyable may have something to do with the fact that I have graduated up from the belly band and officially am an owner of maternity jeans thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law. I never thought I would own, let alone, LOVE a pair of maternity jeans this much, but if ever there were to be an official cure for Baby-Bump Dysmorphia (other than giving birth) I’m sure it would include 1) waiting until your bump is big enough that you actually look pregnant and not just oddly shaped and 2) investing in a good pair of maternity jeans. It’s only fitting that my very smart and kind mother-in-law would know the cure to Baby-Bump Dysmorphia!   

Easter Egg Bump

Last Easter weekend instead of the Easter Bunny coming to town, Grandma Sharon rolled in with a box of fresh strawberries and visions of baby bedding patterns and material dancing in her head. I know I’m mixing up my holidays but the point is mom finally got to see the baby bump in person and help me accomplish the very first baby-related task on a long to-do list; plan the nursery.

After my mom happily informed me that she wanted to make the bedding for the crib we took a field trip to JoAnne Fabrics where we were to pick out a pattern (they kind of all looked the same to me) and some material (way too many options for me). On the way to the store, my mom told me about the bedding that was on my crib when I was a baby. Apparently the pattern I had was “Jemima Puddle Duck” a character from a Beatrix Potter story about a duck who searches for a place where she can hatch her eggs (see we are getting back to the Easter theme already…Eggs). Although Jemima Puddle Duck sounded precious I knew Moncho and I would be taking a more modern approach to the nursery.   

After searching through what seemed like endless yards of fabric and vetoing most of the clashing colors and patterns that Moncho was selecting (he has a thing for 70’s-esque olive greens and browns) we finally started to find some colors and patterns that were making sense. We ended up finding a patterned material with bright pink and orange “Mod” flowers. In the end, the pattern ended up having a bit of 70’s flair and everyone was happy with the choice. The next step is waiting for the crib to arrive!

some of the material!

I have also come to realize that I can no longer delay posting pictures of “the bump”.  So here they are…Enjoy!

March 29th

Easter Weekend

April 12th

Oh boy.....it's a girl!

Today was the big day and I can hardly describe how excited I am to report we are having a lovely little girl! Last night felt like Christmas Eve used to feel when I was younger. There was always excitement about presents under the tree and a little bit of anxiety at the thought that Santa might accidentally stumble into my room in a post milk and cookie stupor and scare me half to death. Now however instead of presents and stupefied Santa, it was the thought of what my future might look like that was leaving me excited, anxious…and sleepless. I did manage to fall asleep for a little while before our 8:00am appointment.

When the appointment time rolled around Moncho ran across the street (literally) to the doctor’s office from work to make sure that he didn’t miss one second of the appointment. By 8:45am we were finally in a room and looking at the images of our baby on the screen. After confirming that we did indeed want to know the sex of the baby, the ultrasound technician quickly informed us that we were “destined to bring beauty into the world”. At first I wasn’t sure if maybe she had gotten a little distracted and decided to go off topic for a minute, but her words were quickly followed by the ones we were waiting for…. “It’s a girl!” I’m not sure why I was preparing myself for her to say “boy” but when I heard her say it was a girl I felt instantly happy. I looked over to see Moncho wiping away a tear and smiling his massive smile.

For the next 30 minutes or so we watched the technician move through the various parts of our baby girl’s anatomy: the brain, ventricles of the heart, femur bones, nose, and lips. We saw that her tiny little foot was resting right on top of my bladder (thanks) and we even watched her yawn. Last night may have felt like Christmas Eve but today is so much better than any Christmas morning I can remember!